I’ve might have touched on the subject before, but throughout the years, I had become VERY good at hiding my feelings, comparing myself to a clown…happy on the outside,  and sad on the inside. I’ve gotten a lot better, but to be completely honest,  there are times when I still do it. Not to deceive,  but to protect.

Protect what? Myself from ridicule, embarrassment, and my self-esteem, taking a hit along with other factors.  I find myself also doing it to protect others as well, as strange as that sounds. I don’t want my issues,  my concerns,  my mixed depression and anxiety disorder to affect those around me.

But, as I stated, I’ve gotten a lot better and continue to do so. Sure, some days are better than others, but progress, not perfection. Processing and training my brain to not have to rely on a mask or hide, pretend. Getting better at the struggle of living and being my honest and true self. We shouldn’t have to put on an act for anyone.

So, it is time to take the clown makeup off and stop with the masks. Honesty, reality, and truth of self are the name of the game. Be brave, plow forward learning, getting more knowledge and strength along the way. That’s the way. Get out of the safe zone.  Can’t always be raining inside all of the time.