Why do I continue to abuse myself? That’s really what it is if I’m keeping it real. I don’t like making excuses,  even though I think I have some legitimate issues like srxual abuse, depression,  and other mental health issues. But ultimately,  especially now, being a grown ass man, I am responsible for fixing this, getting out of this, and stopping the cycle.

Own it, but don’t make it part of you or your identity. Not every day is going to go as you plan it. Stuff happens. Be serious about it, but don’t turn it into an anchor that you wear around your neck. I try not to, even though it’s a challenge sometimes. Maybe that’s why I’m such a smartass. People cope in their own ways.

But insanity… repeating the same thing over and over and over again,  expecting the outcome to be different.  Crazy, right? So why do we do it? Why not take what we learn, especially by experiences,  and move forward,  instead of messing around and going in circles constantly. I’m guilty of it. But constantly working on it. Perfect? No. Insane? Just a touch.

Gotta stop doing the same thing over and over in order to move forward, expecting progress. Sure, I have the tools and the knowledge that I need, able to pick up and pick up more along the way, but how long will I continue to be the martyr or whipping boy? I ask myself this regularly,  isn’t that insane?

J.R.