I asked for it. Can’t act surprised now. For such a long time I lived isolated, keeping my cards close to my chest, trying very hard to not show my hand, through hell or high water. I was an island, I was in my own prison. I was safer that way…or was I?

Was I safe? Or was I becoming the own leader of my demise? The disintegration of my body, my mind, my soul. I believe both. Sure I was safe, keeping everyone and everything at a distance. But, how is that living? Locking yourself up, closing yourself off?

Your life suffers, you fail to learn valuable lessons that the world and those around you can teach you, consciously or not. You stop yourself from growing as a person, or learning the valuable lessons that are there for you to progress.

I realize this. I have hidden in plain sight for far too long. Hiding my abuse, my mental issues, my low self worth and self esteem. It is time. It is time to open up and allow all my experiences teach, help, and solidify that I am strong, worthy, and can be light to others.

Let the chips fall where they may. The only way is up. That’s what I’m asking for.