Category: Diary

Diary

  • The apology.

    I am a highly flawed individual…partly self-inflicted,  partially victim of my circumstances.  But I don’t like to use excuses. Or at least I try not to. I’ll take some of the blame,  I’ll own it. But I also allow it. I’m an enabler. Sure, I’ve been through some stuff, but I let it hold me…

  • Still leaves a mark.

    When does playful,  ball-busting banter become ugly, venomous, and hurtful? Even if one partake in said banter, which is a whole other issue, it shouldn’t give anyone license or the right to cross that line and be mean, spiteful, inconsiderate. Look, no one’s perfect. NO ONE. So when does “harmless” teasing turn into bullying? When…

  • Put it to bed.

    I admit it…I’m still insecure. It’s just part of the journey. Too old and too much time wasted and opportunities squandered because of it. It’s one of the things that holds us back. I am getting better, though, day by day. Using what I’ve learned,  and keep learning to this day. There’s hope. Ways around…

  • Fake Happy.

    I’ve might have touched on the subject before, but throughout the years, I had become VERY good at hiding my feelings, comparing myself to a clown…happy on the outside,  and sad on the inside. I’ve gotten a lot better, but to be completely honest,  there are times when I still do it. Not to deceive, …

  • Hero in a full shell…

    For a long time, I’ve been self-conscious, ashamed of my looks, the way I sound, and never liked pictures or videos of myself. From a young age, I’ve had low self-esteem, triggered not only by external sources but also by internal sources. Believing the lies others told me and told myself. Fast forward to adulthood.…

  • I’m going through changes…

    I’m pretty sure if you’ve been following this blog, I may have mentioned changing,  change,  or going through changes…but life is like a river, continuously flowing,  moving, changing the surface of the rocks and earth beneath and around them. Water flows, and finds a way. Stagnant water really does nothing. So, here we go again.…

  • I’m judge, jury, and executioner too.

    I’m my own worst critic… my own worst bully… my own worst judge. And I’m quick to condemn and lock myself up and throw away the key. Sound familiar? I was pretty bad when it came to those things, but I’m getting WAY better. Have been for a while now. But we always judge ourselves…

  • Carry on my wayward son…

    So I made it… half a century. In the past, I wouldn’t really care. Still don’t, but it’s not like that. I do appreciate I’ve made it this far, and you know what? All the bad things and BS in my life, I survived.  Here, still alive and kicking. It’s all about mindset and priorities.…

  • Cause everyone is trying to rain on my parade.

    It’s so easy to let others bring us down one way or the other, but what about us? Sure, blame could be put on others for our shortcomings to an extent,  but do we ever have the guts to look at ourselves in the mirror and realize one of the biggest culprits can be the…

  • Progress… the God’s magnificent.

    “March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.” Progress, not perfection.  That’s a motto I have been trying to follow more and more every day. I feel there has been progression in my life,  even though…