Page 19

Gotta shake this.

March 18, 2024
So I had a random thought… how many people love to stay in their comfort zone. There is nothing necessarily wrong with that, at least, I don’t think so, but venturing out of said zone should be done once and a while.

This may sound weird, but I began thinking about it because the trailer for The Crow remake dropped, and people feel personally attacked or violated. So used to the old, the familiar. Change isn’t welcome. I get it….but refusing or being afraid of change, getting out of the comfort zone makes us miss out on things. Random, I know.

I know in my life, I get very comfortable and complacent, which in my opinion isn’t wrong, but what am I missing out on otherwise? And for me and my issues, the comfort zone is well, comforting. But we all need to venture out of the circle once in a while. Never know what cool stuff may happen.

Stay tuned, have some cool stuff planned.
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You gots to chill…

March 9, 2024
A little change of pace, I suppose. I’ve been thinking a lot about the negative stuff and the stress that is life in general, but also thinking of the good. Taking time to have gratitude and appreciation, or count your blessings for a lack of a better term. We all forget that.

A walk in the park.

We all have tools. We all acquire tools. Tools to help us deal, maneuver, and enjoy life….which is meant for living, by the way, not staying stagnant and dying. Gotta dig in the old toolbox from time to time and find things to keep it moving. Can be a hobby, spending time with friends and family, exploiting talents hidden or not so hidden….whatever it may be.

The good old days.

So, thinking back late last year at my wedding, we had a small card that was placed on the tables that had 10 facts about my awesome wife and I (Actually, mine had 9 because I accidently deleted the 10th…I’m sure no one noticed).

Was all in.

So what I’m getting at is keep yourself busy. Take time for yourself. Reflect. Enjoy. Life and time constantly move, we got to try and not just let it slip by. Make life suck less. Need to find the happy places…the happy things. Go back if you have to. Dust off the old and get busy.
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Gotta laugh when you’re the joke.

March 7, 2024
“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.” — William Shakespeare

Gloom and doom….that’s no way to live. Life lives not in the cold and darkness but in the rays of sun and light. Self-pity is useless. We need to learn to be selfish. To practice self-love. The right way of course.

Never intended to come off that way. To always highlight the negative. One of the reasons I even started this journey was to deal and heal…help others along the way. Also wanted to share ways to deal and cope…be it though hobbies, music, movies… ANYTHING that helps you get through.

My life lately has been interesting, to say the least. But instead of laying down and giving up, I’m taking the time to reflect and focus on what’s important. Life is for living, not dying. Working on the outside as well as the inside.

Taking a good look at the outside and inside is what I’m in the middle of now. Time to be selfish. It is time to continue growing and moving forward. Working on physical and mental health is a good place to start.

Nothing to it, but to do it….
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This isn’t easy.

March 3, 2024
That’s right…it isn’t easy. Not only do I need to deal with my personal, everyday life, the world around me seems to be falling apart as well. What to do? We can’t control what we can’t control, so why even try? Need to worry about SELF and all the “human” stuff that goes with it. Let the world burn…Why go down with the ship?

I am my own worst enemy though…constantly for years, always getting in my own way. Can I blame outside sources? Sure. But have to take accountability for MY own actions….OUR own actions. My mental state, etc can be some of the issue and blame, but that being said, what’s being done about it? Completely up to me. That kind of thing is for us to figure out.

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise L. Hay

I’m so fortunate to have a loving, supportive family. Family that helps me realize the potential and that, sure the world isn’t perfect, I am not perfect, but I’m loved, and I should love myself just the same. Everyone should. None of us is worth-less. You got something to give…even if it’s to yourself. All that said, just need to focus and put into practice.

Life’s hard already…why make it harder? So ironic that one of the main obstacles is me….WE can be the biggest hurdle to overcome. The rest……maybe not so easy.
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And there is no map.

February 22, 2024
I know I haven’t posted in a while, but life, you know….how’s the saying go? When it rains, it pours. Well, the storm cloud seemed to have plated itself above me. Am I struggling? Little bit, but I m a work in progress, and I am looking for the silver lining. Got to.

“You can make heaven out of hell, or hell out of heaven. The choice is yours.” – Shannon L. Alder

House fire, busted water heaters, unemployment, shrinkflation….it gets overwhelming at times, but all these things are temporary. Things will change, get better, and evolve. We have to adapt and evolve.

We’re humans, we have feelings, and life isn’t always perfect or fair. But we do have control. Sure, things in short sight may not be ideal or look grim, and don’t make sense, but pain is temporary. We have survival instincts. It’s true. Just need to tap into it… even without a map. Humans being humans.
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Oh, these sour times…

February 15, 2024
Apologies for the delay in posting family, but as always, life gets in the way. Fires, dealing with anxiety and depression, busted water heaters, and now add the stress of job hunting….life’s good….no, really, life is good.

Doesn’t seem like it, and hey, I’m human, and it triggers from time to time, but everyone goes through hard times. Just seems like, in my case, everything is happening at once. Does get overwhelming, but what do we do? Lay down and die? Nah…got a few things I’d like to do before I go.

“The difference between a strong man and a weak one is that the former does not give up after a defeat.” — Woodrow Wilson

Even though things are not ideal, even though things aren’t great, gotta plow through. I’m very lucky to have a great support system. Life sucks and then you die? Nah, none of us should think like that….even through the sour times.
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Watching the world burn…

February 8, 2024
I hope the readers of this blog don’t come away with the assumption that I’m all doom and gloom and don’t see the silver lining in most things. I believe I’m just recognizing that life isn’t perfect, nor will it ever be. I’ve gone through some tough times, a little rocky as I write this now, but things usually work out one way or the other. We do have power in what direction. In how we deal.

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you.” —Walt Whitman

I’m no therapist, or expert at anything, just a regular dude living in this thing we call life. I’m also human, and humans have feelings. I think one of the problems with myself, with people in general, is they rob themselves of their humanity. We all get mad, sad, depressed, angry, happy excited, and on and on. But we think we shouldn’t be those things.

Sure, we shouldn’t hold grudges or onto things. But I think it’s okay to remember or go back sometimes. Not to rehash, but to learn. To remind ourselves. Life is like a huge school where we learn…learn from experiences and things that we encounter. Also, it’s OKAY to get pissed…it’s OKAY to be sad…it’s OKAY to feel all those feelings and the ones mentioned before. But were do we go from there? That’s the question.

But what do I know. Here I sit watching the world burn…..
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Knew not who I was, but listen here.

January 31, 2024
Do you know who you are? Do you? I know who I am… in a nutshell, I’m a middle-aged, overweight dude who suffers from body dismorphia, has low self esteem and self worth, diagnosed with mixed anxiety and depression disorder, a victim of abuse and manipulation. Think thats it….

Not trying to be dramatic or expect any kind of sympathy, but recognizing the issues is the first step is it not? I know everyone has their issues, but if we know what they are, at least mostly, why not take the steps to fix it? I’m an adult now, time to put on the big boy pants.

“You don’t have the same mentality as you did five years ago – even one year. People are always changing, and I believe that everyone deserves the space to change and for people to recognize their change.” – Bad Bunny

Being older, does change the perspective, but the rules apply to everyone young and old. The world doesn’t care. Recognize. Deal. Yes, easier said than done, but whats the alternative?

Once you know whats in front of you, can see whats inside, and see whats outside to help you cope. I know for myself there’s always this one step forward, two step back scenario. A hesitation. Got to figure that out too. One step at a time.

And you can’t beat that with a bat…
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I’m the self-inflicted mind detonator.

January 25, 2024
Hate to say this, and kind of embarrassed to, but people say that im good at a lot of things.That I’m so smart, talented, whatever. But I know one thing I am good at….self sabotage and being my own worst enemy. I talk myself out of a lot.

Dreams, aspirations….I feel like were squandered. But it’s never too late right? I’m too old, right? And there it is….the roadblock, self sabotage. Others see it, why can’t I?

“People with low self-esteem are more likely to sabotage themselves when something good happens to them because they don’t feel deserving.” – Unknown

Got a lot of work to do. Should I be further along than I am? I think so, but it really isn’t too late….even if time is gone and is shortened us to me, up to us. We control it. We need to be in control….
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Stumbling in the dark.

January 19, 2024
I’ve said it before, but life is good. Life is good, but not great. But in thinking about that statement, why isn’t it great? Life is what YOU make of it, no? The outside world is so messed up though… the things, the people. There’s something definitely in the water.

You can only control what you can control I suppose. Can’t really control outside forces. So why punish myself….why punish ourselves? Certainly, if I’m not comfortable, I adjust. Need to get better at that.

“We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.” – Marylin Manson

We get too comfortable….too complacent. At least I admittedly do. Need to change what I don’t like. So should you. The power and will to do so is there. Just need to access it. Gotta stop stumbling in the dark…
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